FAQ: Couples Coaching

Q. Some of my friends have gone to

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marriage counseling but didn't stick with it. How is couple's coaching different?

Q. My partner won't go with me to counseling. Do you think s/he would like coaching?

Q. How is couple's coaching different from family or system's coaching?

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Q. Some of my friends have gone to marriage counseling but didn't stick with it. How is couple's coaching different?

A. A lot of people don't go to marital therapy until the relationship is breathing its last breath. Sometimes the patient is pronounced dead upon arrival. Couple's coaching, like coaching in general, is not pathology based. Coaching doesn't care who did what to whom, but instead looks at what is trying to happen and then creates the structures/requirements needed to facilitate that change. It is a positive and forward-moving approach which is results oriented. You really can create a great relationship. Promise.

 

Q. My partner won't go with me to counseling. Do you think s/he would like coaching?

A. Some folks won't like either, but if your partner desires to create something great with you, coaching will likely appeal to him/her. Coaching often appeals to men because it is a pro-active, solution-based model. Women are usually quite adept in the emotional/feeling realm; and men often feel that they are not, which can also cause them to feel inadequate when playing in that arena. In couple's coaching there is a balance of both the feeling and the doing. A typical question that invites both might be, "Now that you know your partner feels this way about it, what do you want to do?" Both the male and female voices are necessary, invited and embraced.

 

Q. How is couple's coaching different from family or system's coaching?

A. They're not a lot different. Systems Coaching (for families, departments, clubs, etc.) is usually less deep but often broader in scope. A lot of the skills needed for a good couple relationship are the same skills needed for other good relationships. The dynamics are pretty much the same for all.

Because couples generally have a deeper sense of commitment and similar values, Couple's Coaching can utilize those to create a greater depth of unity for the couple.

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